My Blog - My Life

2011-10-22T06:16:00.000-07:00

Realisations, epiphanies are great. I figure things happen for a reason and I am a great believer of this. Everything that is happening to me right now is not going to get me down. It must be happening for a reason. Something better is coming along, I just have to be patient. Oh and right now I am loving my family so much. My kids are arguing less, me and the Wife are getting on better and LIFE IS GOOD!

2011-06-19T13:20:00.000-07:00

So I finally decided to be hit in the face with a huge and very painful reality stick. Something which I was avoiding for a very long time. I would always say that I am happy with the way I look and it doesn't matter that I am short and stocky as I was kinda cute looking. But being holed up here for months had taken it's toll and I had put on a lot of weight again. So the extra weight plus being obese already amounted to being really obese!!!

I had been considering going to Slimming World for a few weeks but never really had the guts to go. I hate meeting new people and I hate leaving the apartment so this in general was a HUGE deal for me. Every mouthful of food I ate, I relished, but with each mouthful, I knew I was risking my health and to make matters worse, my kids began to put on the pounds too and I knew that I had to make some changes, not just for me, but for everyone.

One Wednesday, I heaved a huge lungful of air into myself, and then left the flat, with Jai in tow and we made our way to the club. Jai wanted to lose a few pounds herself and I saw that Slimming World helps children from the age of 11 so this seemed like a great way for us to have some Mother-Daughter bonding time.

We both cautiously walked into the Hall and was immediately greeted by a friendly face who helped up to the applications table. We were offered a drink and was asked to fill in our details, within 3 minutes, Maria the Consultant was there making us feel completely at ease with ourselves. She went through the diet plan with us and I was thrilled to see that we were following the Extra Easy plan on the Food Optimising diet. I am familiar with Slimming World, this being my third attempt (hey third time lucky, right?) and could never really get on with the red/green days plan as I love my meat with potatoes or pasta.

We sat with the group and was introduced and everyone was friendly and welcoming. It seemed a million times better than my other group and I feel really positive this time. After Class we were weighed and I must admit, I very nearly cried with shame to see how much I let myself go, but this shame changed to determination and after having been a second time, I know I am going to keep it up. 3lbs lost in the first week and oh so many more to go!

2011-05-27T05:26:00.000-07:00

I have a Mental Illness, in fact I think I have a few. That is scary but not as scary as I once thought. When I was an ignorant child, I used to believe that Mentally ill meant that you become lost in yourself, that you never knew who you were or who your loved one were or anything, that you lost all sense of reality. That thought terrified me and before I sat down to write this blog, I thought that description was way off, thankfully. But...the more I write each word down, the more I realise that I wasn't far wrong. I have become lost within myself, my illness has changed me into scared child who needs the comfort of those around me. It's as if I need constant reassurance on everything, not only that but I have forgotten how to be me. The old me, the one I knew well and loved has disappeared, she has been overtaken by this new morbidly pathetic shadow of what I once was.

There are many great traits that the new me has, I have matured, I have learnt a lot of life's lessons that has made me more accepting, compassionate, less judgemental and I love this part of the new me, but I want the old me back. The one that hardly ever questioned anything, she just got on with things, had fun, lived a little and was so confident. I now live in habit, I have lived as this alien being for so long that Anne 1 has slowly slipped under and is no where to be seen. I have forgotten how to be me and I don't even know how to get a little bit of her back. I remember who I was and I want her back, I remember who my loved ones are yet the mature version questions loyalties and decisions. I have become very pessimistic in that I have lost my faith in Mankind, I have become a HUGE Social phobic and feel that I hate people, when in truth I need people, I just hate that people are not as honest or as moralistic as I perhaps think they should be and this is sad. I am not sure if it is sad for me or for mankind in general as my image of them is very low. I don't know what to do or where to start in imporving this, all I know is something definitely needs to change and I hope it does soon.

2006-01-01T13:25:00.000-08:00

This is my first ever post about me. I feel real weird writing about myself. I don't feel that I am exciting or onteresting enough to be written or read about! But I am going to write anyway. My name is Anne and I am 28 years old and a single mother of two children. I was married but am now happily divorced. I love and work with children (nursery nurse/playworker), I went to college last year and passed a one year course with flying colours. I also love my computer, it has become my friend, and my open window to the outside world! I have made lots of new friends on here, form South Africa and America. It is amazing how you may not know your nextdoor neighbours name but I know tons about someone that lives thousands of miles away. It is the 1st January 2006 today and I thought that I would write about the day that i've had.
It started off, with me waking up to 7 children running around my flat, I had a lot of family staying over due to the New year celebrations. It was bedlam in my flat. I spent the whole day with family, I cooked them a roast and we ate chocolate cake. I had a lovely day a bit hectic but lovely, I made a few resolutions about personal things and broke one of them by eating loads!!! Oh well there is always tomorrow.